From Codependency into Co-Commitment
“Learning that I have the choice to see challenging life situations through a both/and lens has quite literally changed my life. It has helped me dissolve old hurts, forgive myself and others, and lean into a way of being that is at peace with paradox. ”
— Selena O.
Codependency is a dead end
Many of us realize codependency sabotages our relationships but struggle with day-to-day awareness and choice-making.
Codependency comes with a top down either-or view of reality which people fight to retain in order to establish power over others.
Codependency can also be sneaky and often expresses itself as a prescribed roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer.
Fear, judgement, blame and guilt fuel these roles. Narcissism runs rampant.
Once you’re in a conflict world, people cycle through each role. And like like ring around the rosy, ashes to ashes, we all fall down.
Some signs of codependency:
You feel stuck in a painful relationship dynamic and yet you can’t speak up or make effective changes.
You think you know best, most people are idiots and everyone would be better off with you in charge.
You’re someone who puts everyone else’s needs first, often leaving you exhausted and resentful.
There is another way: The Triangles.
About 20 years ago while I was in training with the Center for Sacred Studies, an ongoing community-wide conversation began about how to transform conflict.
From there, a paradigm shifting tool emerged called The Triangles.
Over the years, with permission, I began teaching and writing about a specific aspect of The Triangles — a map and guide for shifting power-over conflict to embody a power-with co-commitment way of life.
An Empowering Practice & Support Circle
As the pandemic took hold in 2020, in response to how sheltering in place was revealing codependent cracks with ourselves and loved ones, I created a virtual support circle.
Weaving together personal sharing with facilitated support and guided imagery practices, the connection was so profound that the group lasted 5 months instead of 2 ½.
“I joined the circle feeling trapped and frustrated in my marriage. I was in a destructive and depressing pattern of feeling overwhelmed and stuck. Being in the group and hearing everyone share provided a space to learn and see firsthand how we might shift our perspective and embrace new thinking, consciousness, choice.
The triangles provided a powerful tool for transformation. Staci skillfully listened and witnessed our stories and feelings, holding us in love, strength, wisdom and clarity. The guided visualizations helped us build a bridge to new ways of being, activated by awareness and choice.
Today, with practice, I am breathing in more joy, honesty, connection, love and compassion. I am healing my past and my relationship with myself and others.” Teresa B.
Currently, The Co-Commitment Support & Practice Group is closed.
Until we re-open, you’re welcome to contact me for individual or couples sessions focusing on the Triangles. You may also sign-up below for more information.